Parents vs. Marriage

Looking back on Patricia Seed’s book I feel almost mad at the way parents felt that they should control the marriage of their children. Then I think about how I would feel if one of my children were to marry someone that I did not approve of. It is because of this, that I had mixed emotions throughout the entire book.  Can you imagine if it were this way today? Granted, some parents are not always happy about the marriage choice of their children but once the child is 18 years old he or she has the choice of marriage and the choice is that person’s alone.  I am recently engaged and luckily my parent like my fiancé but while I was reading I was thinking of how I would feel if they didn’t want me to marry her.  I like to think that I would stand up to my parents and tell them that I will do what I want instead of trying to runaway and hide it like most of the couples mentioned in the book.

Next I put my place in the shoes of the parents.  Okay, I will be the first to admit that if I had a daughter and she married a complete tool I would be pissed and try my best to let her know that I don’t approve.  Let’s get real though, I would never threaten to kill over it or lock her up like an animal.  Of course time and trends were different then than they are now but I think they acted too extreme.  Obviously changes in customs and social norms make it hard for us to understand why parents acted the way they did.

During the reading I felt like each story was so similar that I was reading the same thing over and over.  Although it seems redundant it is amazing that she personally researched and documented each case to effectively prove her points.  I really feel like I gained a better understanding of the marriage processes and parental influence of this era simply from reading Seed’s well written book.