Lavrin, Courtship and the Church

I found our discussions concerning sexuality and the church this past week some of the most interesting of the semester. Maybe it’s because the church still plays some sort of role in determining sexual behavior, or atleast has historical roots in what society deems as acceptable or not. However, I am focusing on Lavrin’s article concerning sexuality in colonial Mexico because it seemed to really develop deeper into the discussions we had from class this past week, and I also noted some findings that really stuck out.

First of all, courtship really stood out during this time period! Lavrin dives into how men and women sexual relations were understood through courting practices.  Men went to great lengths to “woo” ,as Lavrin put it, their woman by gift-giving and verbal promises to a future of marriage. Interestingly, these courtships seemed to last for some time, and premarital sex definitely occurred, especially if the future promise of marriage was apparent. It’s as if even though actual marriage had yet to occur, the promise of it was enough justification for sex. Here again, the protection of female chastity emerged in courtships, as Lavrin really emphasizes how women somehow made themselves more attractive by turning down sexual practices until marriage. For men, not acting on or suggesting any sexual practices helped women trust that they sought her hand in marriage during a courtship, not simply just for lust. Regardless, these courtships seem very indicative of this time period. In fact, as I was reading about it, I wondered whatever happened to it?

It is clear that the church had alot to say about sexual practices, even though actual human behavior wasn’t as ideal. Today, however, courting or “dating” seems to be a lost art. Is this because the church has less “control” over personal relationships between men and women, or could it be because social interaction in relationships have just changed? Not that I want the church to be so strict as to force a reappearance of courting, but sometimes I think the dating life today would be nice with it. People are either “going out” or “not”….but they’re actually “not going anywhere”! I find this sort of humorous.

The other interesting bit that I felt Lavrin developed upon was again the strict ruling of the church, through mostly confessionals over sexual practice. Even dreaming or thinking about sex was a sin! I can only imagine the constant anxiety of waking up in the morning after some sexual dream wondering if a confession would have to occur to keep the soul saved. These poor people couldn’t control every biological sense of themselves! The church had alot to say about human behavior, even innate behavior, so it’s not as surprising that actual practices deviated from these unrealistic “ideal” notions. I think the church had good intentions of the sanctity of marriage and the sinfulness of adultery, incest, etc. However, some extremes seemed to infringe upon a person’s own humanity. Here I go again being biased and not thinking about this on a contextual level for the time period….

Let me recap, Lavrin’s article helped me understand how the tension between the church and human sexuality played out during the colonial period. I also have a new wish of the revival of courtship, but am not getting my hopes up!